I don't like excuses. I also do not like dismissal.
What does this have to do with improvement?
You and I both know what this about right?
It's not really about improving.
Well, of course it is, but not like doing push-ups.
No, no, no you're right. See. Because it's not about just performing; just because I did more?
Right! Because what if you're doing more the wrong way? That's not improving or getting better. It can be both counter productive and actually leading to some unforeseen issues down the line. This isn't about productivity, but improvement. It's much more about recognizing what you failed to do and readjusting to the point that you run into "New" challenges rather than more challenges. Does that make sense? Or is this too much philosophizing?
This might still be a vague concept. Not the idea alone, but my ability to flush this out in writing.
So let me just talk about me, yea? Not a long talk but a quick talk.
So here I am, it's January, 2020.
I know some folks, who for the last few years have been "meaning" to do, get to, move forward with, finish, start and blah, blah, blah, right. And for the last few years of hearing these types of things I've tried to encourage and assist some of my associates to "do" those very things and complete them.
Very few of them have done so.
I tell them, "Hey put a timeline on it, do it by _ date."
I tell them, "I'll check on you, I'll ask you about it and try to help keep you accountable to your ideas and whatnot."
I ask them, "what can I do for you, can I assist you, research for you or anything?"
I've recommended and sent books and audios, literally. I've helped write and create plans. I've sent videos for examples and even offered my services and time free of charge. And what has come of over 80% of those aspirations, plans and good "meaning"? Very little if you ask me.
I'd ask, "Why didn't you do that thing you said?"
I'd ask, "What happened to the plan you had to do...?" (such n such)
I'd ask, inquire, follow up, challenge, and sometimes even confront their lack of accomplishment and solid reasoning.
In the end, the truth of the matter is that no one can be forced to improve.
So I always ask the golden question, "Why, or Why not?"
Here's what I've personally reasoned to be some of the cases. You make excuses and dismissals. And just like I opened, I hate them. I hate them because so much more often than not, the person using them has no need for them and they don't even realize it.
They don't realize that they've wasted time, money, emotions, intellect, resources and much more "meaning to" do something rather than the fraction of time it would've taken to have already done it and have gotten through, no matter what the results would have been.
To be clear, I put fear in the same category of excuse and dismissal. Fear is a cause and effect, but it also is often a symptom of the unfamiliar. And this is the place where I'd like to focus for a second.
You'll watch, read and listen to respectable people saying "just go for it and do it". But, YOU, won't. You'll do a lot of things, hell, it's been weeks already, months or years even that you've done a GREAT MANY THINGS.... except that thing you always wanted to accomplish. But accomplishment and improvement aren't the same. You might accomplish much with no improvement. You might accomplish something good, bad, right or wrong; but you don't improve good, bad, right or wrong because improvement focuses on the differences in each good, bad, right and wrong.
Improvement is not about more but better.
Here's my example. Use it. Try it. Test it.
How does a person improve in the kitchen? Is it merely about cooking more items, adding more flavors, making the meals and desserts bigger and grander? No. It's about being familiar in the kitchen. It's about understanding and practice. The one more familiar with what they're making, usually makes it better(at least for themselves).
You can follow meal instructions. You'll have all the ingredients, utensils, and timing. You'll make the meal that's set, because you are not familiar enough with everything you need to create a meal that looks and tastes like you'd expect. That's why most of us started with the bowl of cereal. The first time there might not be enough milk. The second time the cereal might spill over because of too much milk, etc. Then it's boiling or frying an egg. Then it's a Pancake or French Toast, cookies and cakes, sandwich spread, lunches and dinners that only serve 3 seasoned meat, canned corn and a packet of 5min mashed potatoes, right?
But ONE DAY, a person manages to want to try and cook on their own with no instructions. They go through a process of trying different things, testing, and re-making. They discover many things about timing rice, seasoning meat properly, and whether vegetables are better steamed or sauteed. You ever make a dish and someone ask "is there enough salt?" lol.
Of course, they could give up the first time. They could call it all a loss, deem themself a horrible cook who can't even make rice and never attempt to learn or try again. Or they can just keep burning the rice, never discovering that a few measurements could change everything. They'll wonder how come it's never right, is it really them? No, it's the rice or it's the janky pan; it's just not for them. Oh, what a great dismissal. You want to cook, but just don't really want to get better at it.
I hope I made my point. If I haven't, I need to become a better writer. I too need to improve, but not if I won't figure out this grammar thing.
So what about you?
Are you gonna learn how to cook, stop wasting your money, advance your skills, and improve your life? You CAN by improving your character, your confidence, your connection and your consistency.
Are you living to be known for Improvement?
Because I can tell you now, I'm not addressing you if you aren't. I'm not here to convince a pessimist. The first excuse you make I'm sure will mark another familiar failure. But what if you make that change? What if you figure out after the 5th or 6th time what a difference a pinch or sprinkle of salt actually makes?
To do that, each attempt will get a lil more unfamiliar. And with that, you will happen to become a little more familiar with what's what. You realize that, with every new unfamiliar failure, improvement is a journey that becomes more and more familiar. Because...
"Improvement is a journey through unfamiliar failures." Quote me on that.
- A few words from Your FAVORITE Valet.
"That's Living to Be Known, That's Living in Forward Motion."
